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Archive for May, 2018

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My heart continues to feel a loneliness that was not present when my husband was alive. His passing was sudden and unexpected which has it’s own set of grief responses. I can honestly say there is about 3 weeks where time meant nothing to me and my memories of those days are non-existent. I was aware of people around me but what was said and done are lost to me.

One of my daughters and three of her children stayed with me for several days after the funeral and their presence helped facilitate a return to the normal rhythms of day to day living.  Children live in the moment which serves as a reminder to live in the here and now. The past is over and the future is not yet here; enjoy the moment that is here.

One thing that does not seem to be addressed upon the demise of a loved one is the business part of death. There are funeral arrangements to be made, which in itself has a myriad of choices to be made. There is asking friends to be pall bearers and someone to give the eulogy, clergy to be contacted and worked with, music, programs, and obituaries that need to be done. Business. A funeral director can be a great resource to draw from and believe it or not, they can be a valuable resource about finances for the entire business of the death.

I do not deny myself the tears that come from nowhere, I enjoy the smiles that come with a sweet memory.  I do not deny my emotions and live them in the moment.  The day to day business of living carries on and memories come at will and the emotions evoked honoured.

Living a day at a time, taking things a moment at a time, and honouring my emotions work together to facilitate a starting point to my new normal.

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